We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize