i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
