And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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