For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
