I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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