the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
