He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
