I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
