the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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