This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
where are my eyebrows?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
