The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
