help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
