Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize