She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
