By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
