Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I love you. Go after that dick
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
