Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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