I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
