I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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