5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
