would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
