I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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