your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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