I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
