Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize