Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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