So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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