pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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