What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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