so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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