Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't deserve a penis
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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