woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
