Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
