end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
