my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize