The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize