...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
