I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
