In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
