I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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