I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
