I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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