Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
