I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
