no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
