Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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