We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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