Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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