It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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