clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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