OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize