I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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