He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
