I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
